Top 10 Dumb Driving Moves

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve seen another driver do lately? Now, confess the dumbest driving move you’ve made recently. Since this is supposed to be a fun story, stay away from driver’s ed lectures about driving under the influence, going 50 mph in a school zone and having unrestrained kids bouncing around in the back of an SUV. All of our Top 10 Dumb Driving Moves could end tragically—that possibility exists every time a vehicle is moving. However, today we’re trying to be humorous-dumb, not heartbreaking-dumb.

10. Thump-A-Yankee
Old-time southern hospitality doesn’t mix well modern traffic. Picture this: You’re trying to turn left at a stop sign onto a busy four-lane surface street in a medium-sized southern town. The driver in the lane closest to you stops and motions for you to pull out. His pickup (of course) blocks your view of the lane to his left. To your right, traffic is clear. You hesitate because of that hidden lane. His motions grow stronger. He glances in the rearview mirror, as if making sure it’s safe. You pull out—just as a car stopped behind the pickup drives around him and begins to accelerate—right smack into your front fender. There’s no way to tell whether the pickup driver was inappropriately polite, or still sore about 1864.

9. Turn-Lane Chatting
Still on a four-lane surface street, this one has a center turning lane separating the two traffic lanes. You’re planning to turn left. Ahead, there’s a car stopped in the center lane. It’s not quite at your intended left turn and there are no turn signal or hazard flashers. If you drive around it, there’s a chance the car will accelerate into your door as you slow to turn. If you pull in behind, there’s a better chance the driver has stopped to chat on the phone. The great thing: He thinks he’s being safe by not driving while on the phone.

8. The Chicago Dive
It was almost midnight on Saturday and I was a passenger in a Freightliner headed toward Wisconsin. Traffic was light, so we steered right through the middle of Chicago. From the left, a driver darted across the big rig’s bow to take the Interstate off-ramp. The car came so close that it disappeared under the giant hood. DUI? Kamikaze? Gang initiation? Then several more drivers repeated the move. I reckoned they all do that up here. Since we weren’t in the best part of town, I asked the truck driver, “If one of them clips us, let’s wait until we get to Kenosha to report it.” Trust me, the Freightliner would have hardly noticed.

7. Truck Races
Don’t you hate it when big rigs run side by side, blocking a two-lane rural Interstate highway? At least one truck driver probably isn’t having fun either. I was driving a Freightliner when I stumbled into one of those situations. A big rig was pulling onto the Interstate, so I moved into the left lane to let him in. Just as I was about to clear him and return to the right lane, he accelerated and moved slightly ahead. As I signaled to pull in behind him, a string of cars pulled up behind the other truck. Yet another big rig came up right behind me. Then my truck-racing opponent slowed slightly. Maybe, I thought, I can get ahead. However, my truck was electronically limited to 66 mph. Soon, we had I-75 jammed for miles with our back and forth jockeying. Then I noticed big chunks of rubber in the right lane. In Florida, that often means limping along ahead is a motorhome with a blown tire. The highway had just sprouted a third lane, so I illegally pulled into the far-left lane to let the other trucker in. Almost immediately afterward, the other truck accelerated away. Maybe he enjoyed the competition.