2005 MINI Cooper S

Most choices facing the automotive buyer owe their existence to some logical thought, some rational business plan, and a bunch of somber old guys in dark suits and lace-up wingtips sitting around a long table and trying to forecast the cost/benefit trade-offs of retaining the retired employees' medical plan or adding a ninth cupholder to the current sport-utility vehicle. Then there's the MINI, which exists only because there are some people who still believe that driving around ought to be a hoot. If you're looking for some sort of sensible economy car that will provide dutiful if mindless service for the lowest possible cash from your account, you'd be better off looking somewhere else.

The MINI is as minimalist as a car can be without being limited to a golf course.

From the outside the MINI is self-explanatory. It's based on the old Mini, which was based, actually, on four chairs sitting on a floor to determine how much space four people sitting in those four chairs occupied. Add an engine up front, a wheel at each corner, cover it with the least amount of metal possible and you're done. Fast-forward to the current calendar, add some room, because a lot of today's four people have easy access to fast-food chains and take advantage thereof, add a lot of stuff because the various governments are trying to protect us from our frivolous selves, polish the styling up to date and you're done. Nothing, sadly, these days is truly minimalist (except perhaps several pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog), but the MINI is probably as minimalist as a car can be without being limited to a golf course.


There are two body styles, a coupe and a convertible, and two trim levels, the Cooper and Cooper S. Both get a 1.6-liter four-cylinder engine, which makes 115 horsepower in the Cooper and is supercharged to 168 horsepower in the Cooper S. With the Cooper you can have a five-speed manual or automatic (a continuously variable transmission, or CVT), and with the Cooper S you have the choice of a six-speed manual or sticking with the regular Cooper.

The inside is equally as daffy and cute as the exterior.

Prices start at $17,500 for the Cooper, $20,950 for the Cooper S, and you can add stuff until a Cooper S will start bumping around 27 grand or so. There is also a "John Cooper Works" package, which hops it up with a different cylinder head, more supercharger boost and so forth, gives it a total of 207 horsepower (207 horsepower in a MINI!) and costs $4650. If you don't stop yourself you can sign up for more than $30,000. But, hey—what's a giggle worth?


The inside is equally as daffy as the exterior. It's cute as a new baby, but some of it's also a little weird. The hood release is on the right-hand side—they went to all the trouble of making a left-hand drive version and didn't move the hood release? Maybe it was left there just for the quirkiness of it. Seat recline controls are on the inside—maybe it was too tight on the outside. The little toggle switches on the center console are also cute and easy to work. There are two small-diameter cupholders, good for soda cans or small water bottles, and there's an accessory basket-type cupholder if you really must have a mug of coffee.